By Sukanya Sharma
This is part two of an interview with Consultant Psychiatrist Dr Hozefa A Bhinderwala.
What are tips to have an emotionally healthy relationship with ourselves?
- The most important thing is to accept that you are a human being and have limitations
- Chasing perfection and always trying to do more is at the root of discontent and dissatisfaction, the parents of anger
- Learning to forgive one’s own self for mistakes and non-accomplishments is a blessing that comes to people after a lot of experience…or not at all
- Accepting the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people around us are also capable of making mistakes and going wrong and being able to forgive them their mistakes the way we would love someone to forgive our mistakes is another challenge that not many people master.
I am not perfect and I cannot expect you to be perfect. It’s OK to make mistakes, let’s just try to learn from our previous mistakes and minimise repeating them.
- Compromising family time to do more work regularly gives a false sense of achievement.
- Support and love from one’s kith and kin strengthens one’s self esteem and provides a buffer against anger.
When you are potentially at risk of getting angry, these 3 simple physical tasks can prove helpful:
- Drink a glass of water. (Dehydration fuels more anger)
- Visit the restroom and relieve your bladder by passing urine. (Reduce other causes of physiological stress!)
- Take a brisk 1 minute walk — enough to make you short of breath. (Increased heart rate means more blood flowing through the brain, washing out residual waste and bringing in fresh Glucose and Oxygen, allowing clearer thinking)
- Write down how you are feeling and why before you vocalise your anger. (This way, you give your anger a physical outlet and give yourself a chance to rationally evaluate if it is worth losing your cool.)
Disclaimer: Views expressed are personal. Material on The Health Collective cannot substitute for expert advice from a trained professional.
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