What is the deal with relationships? How do we heal emotionally or even process conflicts or misunderstandings in a relationship? How do they even work in this day and age? Sukanya Sharma asked Clinical Psychologist Pragya Lodha for some insight. Here’s what we gleaned.
- Talk, Write, Communicate: Communication and trust are the most essential in any relationship. A clear communication is always weighed over assuming things and overthinking about them. Most our problems occur only because either we think too much and don’t act or we act without thinking.
- It takes two to tango: It is also important to remember that relationship is about two people; heeding to your needs as well as your partner’s needs is important. Talking about things probably may not always come across as a rosy process but the outcome is always helpful. You learn about each other better decide what’s best to be done. Listen to your partner to understand and not just to reply to them.
- Break ups happen: Most important thing is to remember that break ups will happen but you are never alone. It’s okay to take time to feel better. Take your own time and talk to someone you trust.
- Keep Your Identity: Never lose yourself and your identity. Remain yourself in the relationship as well. Speaking about relationship problems to someone you trust will help you manage your emotions well. But speak to someone you trust, or feel free to speak to a counsellor.
- Changing dynamics: Today, relationships are more about shared responsibilities. Ideally, any relationship is always about a balanced give and take. With a blurring definition of what men and women ought to do, today is a time of sharing the burden of work, household responsibilities and largely, about understanding each other’s’ aspirations and priorities. In a relationship too, the two partners must maintain their individuality along with their committed relationship. This helps distinctly understand and fulfil one’s own needs which help build a more satisfying and loving relationship which is fair to the couple.
- Compromises and Boundaries: Compromises are made in all relationships, whether romantic or otherwise platonic or even professional. The key is to identify and appreciate what the other aspires for and accommodate as much. As couples, there are many goals that the partners share and may achieve together while recognising and respecting individual needs too. In a distinct perspective, compromises also help us learn about our partners and the relationship we share with them.
- When One Partner Wants Couple’s Counselling: In such a situation, the two people as couple can be first spoken independently with and then together. It is ideal to have both partners to have the space to express and also together understand their problems from their perspectives.
Pragya Lodha is a Clinical Psychologist and Research Assistant, De Sousa Foundation
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